On Indomitably Facing Websites & Breakups

This week has been bad. I discovered that the first website that I finished could not take payments through PayPal because they hadn't kept up with the changes PayPal has made to their processes. (This was on Gator.com).

I also had to have an "I don't want to see you" conversation with a man I had been out with once. (Rolls eyes.)

Yet, these things must be faced indomitably. As the stress in my life mounts, the urge to sleep mounts proportionally. I want to just lay down. Today, I started to go back to bed. Got halfway down the hall, cursed, and went to make another coffee.

Determining when a good nap resets your attitude and when plowing ahead is the better choice is a delicate balance. In this delicate dance, I am trying to keep myself well and functional while performing self-care and monitoring my tokens (Another blog post: A Token Life).

I am learning that cutting off drama enriches my life in ways I hadn't anticipated. So, telling an over-enthusiastic suitor that I didn't want to see him anymore was an exercise in stress and release. After doing that, I was able to focus on a suitor that I am more interested in and not worry about "being nice" because my southern raising and the patriarchy have trained me to always be nice because I am a woman.

This indomitable spirit demands continued monitoring and action. It requires precision maneuvering, like the racecar driver Mario Andretti (one of the many nicknames earned in my life). I need to ease into the turn, press the gas at the crest of the curve, and slingshot out of it with faster speed and steady maneuvering.

Today, I didn't go back to bed. I climbed behind the wheel of my life and took off toward the finish line of my day at racecar speeds, the announcer's commentary ringing in my helmet. as I risk the bounds of reckless freedom and the safety of caution.

Maybe being indomitable means you are a bit of an adrenalin junky. Or as I have said before, have a stubborn will that refuses to quit, no matter how many bad websites you have to create or over exuberant partners pursue you.