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Last Days & Sickness Breakouts

Writer's picture: Crafty DiaCrafty Dia

Today was the last day for my contract work, officially ending payment from an outside source for more stable and reliable work expectations.


Now, my livelihood relies on my hustle.


I found I was not as sad or upset as I thought. Part of that has to do with the fact that I continue to battle a histamine high that has created havoc with my body - creating hives and digestive distress that has caused more than just an inconvenience. (It is hard to do anything when you stop frequently to run to the bathroom). Tomorrow, I will get my medication, and hopefully, things will get back to a normal state in my body.


Still reeling from yesterday's "Imposter Syndrome Scheme" revelations, I am eerily calm, if not a bit nervous. Nervous in that exciting way - that way of anticipation of what is to come and excitement about what will happen next for me.


However, stress and bodily illness are still a struggle. No one thinks about the things a chronically ill person must put up with. I have messed myself four times this week as I battle uncontrollable diarrhea. It is a delicate balance between staying hydrated and perpetuating a backend situation I can't control. This creates work like disinfecting the washing machine with bleach in an empty cycle, wearing more clothes, and cleaning a bathroom - not to mention the toll on my chapped hands.


I don't tell these things out of some hope for sympathy. I reveal them because someone needs to reflect accurately on how bad chronic illness can be. Chronic illness is not just a minor cough or simple aches and pains. It is real bodily disruption that affects all your daily decisions - what to eat and wear, whether you can walk to the mailbox safely, leave the house, or walk the dog.


These inane tasks that others take for granted are the privileges' of the healthy. Chronic illness is an illness in every ugly sense of the word.


And yet...


I did a TikTok Live today, my daily geomantic draw on Facebook, YouTube, and TikTok, and posted the daily geomantic draw results on Bluesky and Facebook. I met with my mentor and friend, Judith, reached out to someone looking for a minister, and reached out to a former mentee.


Because that is what is required of me, I have to persevere and be indomitable to be successful. I have to refuse to let these setbacks deter me from doing what I can to hustle.


When I am successful in my hustle, I laugh remembering what Tony, my husband, has said on numerous occasions - "The universe had to give you a chronic illness or you would be running the world - or at least, the U.S."


In deed.



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