Being chronically ill isn't a pass off the ride. It's digging to stay on.
Today I am really struggling.
I am uber stressed about money and employment.
I am stressed about some life changes at home (buying and selling a house).
I am stressed about needing to declutter so we can put the house on the market.
I am stressed about not being in the gym.
I am stressed that I have somehow burned my upper lip, and it isn't healing.
I am stressed that I have a follow-up appointment with my DR at 4:30 PM. At least he can look at my lip and do something about that.
I am tired. I have an upset stomach.
My body aches. I have a meeting in an hour I don't want to go to. I have to.
Days like this would be so easy to lay down and stay down. My body seems to be chanting that in my head, "Lay down. Stay down."
I don't want to be beaten.
I don't want to cave.
I don't want to let all this stress win.
I want to figure out how to get through, how to plan and move forward.
How to do all that needs to be done.
This is the heart of indomitable.
Knowing that being sick isn't a pass off the ride, but a deep inward tenacity to stay on the ride and ENJOY IT even if you want to hurl your guts up.
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